Monica and I have taken it upon ourselves to conduct research into the cause of certain types of gossip, and we’re composing a guidebook for future unsuspecting ladies to follow if they ever decide to visit the City the Earth Needs.
Here are our findings so far:
Boys
- If you talk to a boy, you’re interested in him.
- If you dance with a boy, you want to have sex with him.
- If you ride on the back of his bike a certain way or a certain number of times,* you’re in a serious relationship.
- If you’re sharing a living space with a boy, you’re basically married…even if no romantic feelings exist.
Bikes*
Riding on the back of a boy’s bike is not as innocent as it seems. For example, if you’re clinging to the back of the bike instead of the driver, there’s a chance you may just be using the boy for a ride. However, if there’s less than three visible inches of space between you and the boy, then you’re clearly together. Some other signals:
- The first time a girl rides on a boy’s bike, it may just be to get from Point A to Point B.
- If the girl is seen a second time on the back of the same boy’s bike, then they’re dating.
- If caught a third time, she’s pregnant.
Brands
If you’re associated with a boy due to any of the aforementioned actions (or anything else), you acquire a tag. You are labeled as his. And, sorry ladies, it seems that once you’ve been branded, there’s little hope. Here's some advice from Aurovilian men on the subject:Clear as mud.
- To lessen the impact of a tag, date someone else for more than 2 months.
- Be aware that no Aurovilian man will date you out of respect for the tag holder, because they've known him longer than you.
- If you are unattractive, tags will not last.
Stay tuned for more from the anthropological eyes of Catherine & Monica...
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