Time is of the Essence.
Or so they say.
Basically, I don't have Time anymore, and I can no longer post my life stories in two different places. So please check out the personal stories here, and the more general adventures at http://foretdelumiere.blogspot.com/
bisoux
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Kamikaze Cows
You know you’re in India when cows become road hazards.
Today, a kamikaze cow decided to burst out of the wilderness and run full force into the front of my bike.
It hurt.
Where else does this shit happen?
Today, a kamikaze cow decided to burst out of the wilderness and run full force into the front of my bike.
It hurt.
Where else does this shit happen?
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Money Honey
Last week I hosted a big wig from my old university. Her husband came too, and among the many…wise?.. things he said, he insisted: “In India it’s better to be rich than poor.”
I’m not rich. Far from it. But compared to the locals living in the villages that surround Auroville, I’m golden. The debt I carry doesn’t matter; I have free will and enough money I know I’ll never starve.
That said, many of the locals look at my fair skin and tell me lies to take my money. It’s disheartening and frustrating. Just the other day Monica and I were completely taken advantage of at a sunglass shop, where we didn’t know the prices and ended up paying 200rs more than we should have. Yes, it’s only 4€; yes, it means more to them than to us; but we will struggle day to day and we certainly don’t like being treated differently because of the color of skin. Reverse racism.
As the manager of two places, and thus the payer of two ammas, I often find myself in uncomfortable situations that test my morals. At Grace, the amma was sick one day but insisted on receiving money for her time off. It’s the habbit of the community to give the workers 12 sick days a year; she has already used all of hers, so I didn’t pay. It’s not my place, not even my money for her wages, and she works for several houses… so if we paid beyond the sick leave, what implications would it have for everyone else who employs her? Still, it broke my heart and I felt like a cruel colonizer.
Worse still is the situation at home. The day after arrival Raja took 1000rs of mine to lend to Vasentha. She promised to pay it back quickly. But she never did.
I kept asking her for it, and she kept insisting next week. My friends here told me I had to start cutting it from her wages, but that seemed so harsh… She wouldn’t have taken it from me, a person she likes and respects, without intending to pay it back—right? Plus, while 1000rs is a lot for me, I can survive without it. Can she? She needs it more than I do.
But today she asked me for 2000rs more. “Give it to me now, and I’ll pay you all 3000rs back next month.” She needs it to travel to a temple. I balked. “You’re kidding, right?”
I gave her her wages for the week, and she insisted on being paid more. “I was here yesterday,” she insisted. Doing what? “Tidying a little, you know.” She was doing her work, her laundry, collecting firewood and cashews for herself.
I lost it. Forget it. “Now you get paid only for the time you work here. No more coming at 11 and doing your stuff and expecting cash for it; you get paid only for the hours your work on the house and the land. You sign in when you arrive and when you leave, and you’re paid accordingly. You have tasks. Complete them and you’ll get a small bonus; don’t and you’ll get paid only for the time you’re active here. And starting next week I’m taking 100rs from your salary towards the 1000rs you owe me.”
She cried. She reminded me that her husband is an alcoholic and beats her. She insisted she’d pay me back. She had the Old Man do a special puja where I was asked to pick three items and the order in which I picked them had some special significance to them. But I didn’t yield. She’s not getting her loan, and she’s going to have to start working for her pay.
I felt like an asshole. I still do feel like one.
What to do? I’m earning a salary that reflects the local cost of living; I’m not a money bank for every woman with a sad story. I empathize but this isn’t sustainable.
I’m not rich. Far from it. But compared to the locals living in the villages that surround Auroville, I’m golden. The debt I carry doesn’t matter; I have free will and enough money I know I’ll never starve.
That said, many of the locals look at my fair skin and tell me lies to take my money. It’s disheartening and frustrating. Just the other day Monica and I were completely taken advantage of at a sunglass shop, where we didn’t know the prices and ended up paying 200rs more than we should have. Yes, it’s only 4€; yes, it means more to them than to us; but we will struggle day to day and we certainly don’t like being treated differently because of the color of skin. Reverse racism.
As the manager of two places, and thus the payer of two ammas, I often find myself in uncomfortable situations that test my morals. At Grace, the amma was sick one day but insisted on receiving money for her time off. It’s the habbit of the community to give the workers 12 sick days a year; she has already used all of hers, so I didn’t pay. It’s not my place, not even my money for her wages, and she works for several houses… so if we paid beyond the sick leave, what implications would it have for everyone else who employs her? Still, it broke my heart and I felt like a cruel colonizer.
Worse still is the situation at home. The day after arrival Raja took 1000rs of mine to lend to Vasentha. She promised to pay it back quickly. But she never did.
I kept asking her for it, and she kept insisting next week. My friends here told me I had to start cutting it from her wages, but that seemed so harsh… She wouldn’t have taken it from me, a person she likes and respects, without intending to pay it back—right? Plus, while 1000rs is a lot for me, I can survive without it. Can she? She needs it more than I do.
But today she asked me for 2000rs more. “Give it to me now, and I’ll pay you all 3000rs back next month.” She needs it to travel to a temple. I balked. “You’re kidding, right?”
I gave her her wages for the week, and she insisted on being paid more. “I was here yesterday,” she insisted. Doing what? “Tidying a little, you know.” She was doing her work, her laundry, collecting firewood and cashews for herself.
I lost it. Forget it. “Now you get paid only for the time you work here. No more coming at 11 and doing your stuff and expecting cash for it; you get paid only for the hours your work on the house and the land. You sign in when you arrive and when you leave, and you’re paid accordingly. You have tasks. Complete them and you’ll get a small bonus; don’t and you’ll get paid only for the time you’re active here. And starting next week I’m taking 100rs from your salary towards the 1000rs you owe me.”
She cried. She reminded me that her husband is an alcoholic and beats her. She insisted she’d pay me back. She had the Old Man do a special puja where I was asked to pick three items and the order in which I picked them had some special significance to them. But I didn’t yield. She’s not getting her loan, and she’s going to have to start working for her pay.
I felt like an asshole. I still do feel like one.
What to do? I’m earning a salary that reflects the local cost of living; I’m not a money bank for every woman with a sad story. I empathize but this isn’t sustainable.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Monica & Me vs. Mamma Hen
“They’re like goldfish,” Monica said. We stood staring at the baby chicks running around the storeroom. Their feathers were starting to change colors, but they were still awfully small.
“What do you mean, goldfish?” I asked.
“They grow according to their environment, and they’ve been trapped in a little basket their whole lives, so they haven’t grown much.”
The theory sounded good, but what do I know about chickens? Then it hit me: she didn’t know anything about chickens either. “Are you sure?”
“Of course!” She feigned insult. I remained silent. A moment passed. Then she looked at me hesitantly before adding with a laugh, “I mean, I haven’t read it anywhere or anything...”
Still, it was good enough for me. “It’s time to move the chickens.”
However, we soon realized that was easier said than done.
First, we tried herding them with sticks. They didn’t cooperate. In fact, we looked so ridiculous the Old Man was bent over laughing at us from the peaceful security of his house.
So we tried catching them with a sheet. They were too quick. Every time we came within sheet-throwing distance, they’d scuttle out of range or take cover beneath a prickly bush. These goddam chickens are wiser in the way of warfare than they lead you to believe.
Then we resorted to the basket, catching Mamma underneath and scrambling around to convince the four chicks to join her. But the distance between the storeroom and the henhouse was simply too great! As we dragged the family along, Mamma’s foot or a baby’s wing or an entire chick itself would get caught between the thatch and the path, and we would cringe on their behalf, cease our movement, and stare at the broiling remaining distance. By this time the sun was at its zenith, and Monica and I were drenched in sweat.
Still, we refused to concede. We took a moment to strategize over a glass of water, built a chicken-catching contraption with a basket, a couple sticks, and our own wit, and tried again. To no avail.
Maybe the idea was sent from elsewhere, but it struck us both at the same time: With the chickens in the basket, we shifted them over the sheet, wrapped the corners tightly to prevent any openings, and lifted everything. All five rascals were squawking and squealing, but they were sealed and transportable. We carried the chickens to their new home, shifted the basket on its side, with the sheet between the chickens and the henhouse door. Then, like two proud magicians, we let the sheet drop. Mamma, Thelma, Louise, Beatrice and Mammacas flew frantically into their new home.
We sealed the door just in time for Vasentha to arrive. She looked at us, standing and sweating beside the hen house. She looked at the Old Man, laughing from a distance. And she looked at the animals playing in the dirt within caged walls. “Super.”
Monica and I may get the hang of this after all.
“What do you mean, goldfish?” I asked.
“They grow according to their environment, and they’ve been trapped in a little basket their whole lives, so they haven’t grown much.”
The theory sounded good, but what do I know about chickens? Then it hit me: she didn’t know anything about chickens either. “Are you sure?”
“Of course!” She feigned insult. I remained silent. A moment passed. Then she looked at me hesitantly before adding with a laugh, “I mean, I haven’t read it anywhere or anything...”
Still, it was good enough for me. “It’s time to move the chickens.”
However, we soon realized that was easier said than done.
First, we tried herding them with sticks. They didn’t cooperate. In fact, we looked so ridiculous the Old Man was bent over laughing at us from the peaceful security of his house.
So we tried catching them with a sheet. They were too quick. Every time we came within sheet-throwing distance, they’d scuttle out of range or take cover beneath a prickly bush. These goddam chickens are wiser in the way of warfare than they lead you to believe.
Then we resorted to the basket, catching Mamma underneath and scrambling around to convince the four chicks to join her. But the distance between the storeroom and the henhouse was simply too great! As we dragged the family along, Mamma’s foot or a baby’s wing or an entire chick itself would get caught between the thatch and the path, and we would cringe on their behalf, cease our movement, and stare at the broiling remaining distance. By this time the sun was at its zenith, and Monica and I were drenched in sweat.
Still, we refused to concede. We took a moment to strategize over a glass of water, built a chicken-catching contraption with a basket, a couple sticks, and our own wit, and tried again. To no avail.
Maybe the idea was sent from elsewhere, but it struck us both at the same time: With the chickens in the basket, we shifted them over the sheet, wrapped the corners tightly to prevent any openings, and lifted everything. All five rascals were squawking and squealing, but they were sealed and transportable. We carried the chickens to their new home, shifted the basket on its side, with the sheet between the chickens and the henhouse door. Then, like two proud magicians, we let the sheet drop. Mamma, Thelma, Louise, Beatrice and Mammacas flew frantically into their new home.
We sealed the door just in time for Vasentha to arrive. She looked at us, standing and sweating beside the hen house. She looked at the Old Man, laughing from a distance. And she looked at the animals playing in the dirt within caged walls. “Super.”
Monica and I may get the hang of this after all.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Lost in Translation
Vasentha and the Old Man are engaging me more and more. (I mean beyond the evening tea ritual they’ve pleasantly implemented with me and Monica.)
In turn, I spend long hours wondering if they’re doing their jobs, if I should be giving them more direction, and if so—how?
The nights before Vasentah comes, Monica and I agree upon which tasks we want her to do, then take turns assuming the responsibility of miming the messages to her the next morning.
And the Old Man? Forget about it. I’m in over my head.
But still, they look to me eagerly. They tell me things about the house and the forest and wait for my response. As if I have any clue.
This afternoon they were particularly animated. Something about cashew trees, branches of wood, and something above their heads. A bird was eating the cashews? Is that it? They mimed movement. People are stealing the wood?! What???
They dragged me to a couple sites on the land where bundles of cashew branches rested or where the earth was scarred from a recent fire. They gestured to the surrounding trees and leaves damaged by smoke. They pointed into the depths of the land and hollered wildly. Then they spewed more Tamil and waited for my reply. Four deep brown eyes staring at me. Two mouths biting lips in anticipation.
That’s when I cracked. I fell to my knees laughing hysterically, Gopal kissing my face, the sun beating sweat from every pore in my body. “I don’t know!” I cried through my incessant giggles. “I don’t know what you’re saying, and I don’t know what to do, and I just don’t know!”
The workers laughed too, but I’m not sure they knew why.
I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt and tears burst from my eyes. “I’ve lost it,” I muttered. “I’ve finally lost it.” I called out names of people who surely will not come soon.
Alas, I recovered. There’s a way to fix this, to understand, to explain. I just don’t know it yet. I marched to the kitchen and asked Vasentha for tea. And I learned another lesson in patience.
Everything in Auroville (And perhaps everywhere? It’s just more noticeable here?) happens in its own time, in its own way, and it’s all connected—if only you have faith that the answer will emerge in time. Only moments after I recovered from my fit, a friend who speaks Tamil happened to come by. I begged him to translate.
“They’re just telling you that there’s wood all over the land, not in one place, and tomorrow Vasentha will spend her day carrying it on her head to move it instead of helping indoors. Is that ok?”
I swallowed hard. It was my pride, I think. “So they not only know what they’re supposed to do, but they’re doing it?”
“I guess,” he responded, perplexed by the humor I seemed to find in the situation.
And I laughed some more. “Seri, seri!” I said to the workers. Ok, ok!
I’ll be better at Tamil long before I get better at charades.
In turn, I spend long hours wondering if they’re doing their jobs, if I should be giving them more direction, and if so—how?
The nights before Vasentah comes, Monica and I agree upon which tasks we want her to do, then take turns assuming the responsibility of miming the messages to her the next morning.
And the Old Man? Forget about it. I’m in over my head.
But still, they look to me eagerly. They tell me things about the house and the forest and wait for my response. As if I have any clue.
This afternoon they were particularly animated. Something about cashew trees, branches of wood, and something above their heads. A bird was eating the cashews? Is that it? They mimed movement. People are stealing the wood?! What???
They dragged me to a couple sites on the land where bundles of cashew branches rested or where the earth was scarred from a recent fire. They gestured to the surrounding trees and leaves damaged by smoke. They pointed into the depths of the land and hollered wildly. Then they spewed more Tamil and waited for my reply. Four deep brown eyes staring at me. Two mouths biting lips in anticipation.
That’s when I cracked. I fell to my knees laughing hysterically, Gopal kissing my face, the sun beating sweat from every pore in my body. “I don’t know!” I cried through my incessant giggles. “I don’t know what you’re saying, and I don’t know what to do, and I just don’t know!”
The workers laughed too, but I’m not sure they knew why.
I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt and tears burst from my eyes. “I’ve lost it,” I muttered. “I’ve finally lost it.” I called out names of people who surely will not come soon.
Alas, I recovered. There’s a way to fix this, to understand, to explain. I just don’t know it yet. I marched to the kitchen and asked Vasentha for tea. And I learned another lesson in patience.
Everything in Auroville (And perhaps everywhere? It’s just more noticeable here?) happens in its own time, in its own way, and it’s all connected—if only you have faith that the answer will emerge in time. Only moments after I recovered from my fit, a friend who speaks Tamil happened to come by. I begged him to translate.
“They’re just telling you that there’s wood all over the land, not in one place, and tomorrow Vasentha will spend her day carrying it on her head to move it instead of helping indoors. Is that ok?”
I swallowed hard. It was my pride, I think. “So they not only know what they’re supposed to do, but they’re doing it?”
“I guess,” he responded, perplexed by the humor I seemed to find in the situation.
And I laughed some more. “Seri, seri!” I said to the workers. Ok, ok!
I’ll be better at Tamil long before I get better at charades.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Daily Activities
People from the States keep asking me what life is like these days.
The thing is, running a forest is a lot of work. Period.
Twenty acres is a lot of land. Period.
And there are animals to protect! Just this morning the villagers brought their dogs to collect cashews and—as they do almost every morning—the dogs chased the chickens. For the third time since June, one of the dogs succeeded in catching a poor bird, and I had to come with a stick to free the cock.
Plus, our Gop__ needs a lot of loving (which I’m more than happy to give) and company (which I spend simultaneous writing about watsu and/or complementary currencies). He’s just a puppy, after all…
And the cows come several times a day to eat the young trees and blooming flowers, and the house/kitchen/storeroom always offer improvement projects, and the workers—my God, the workers.
Everyday they try to teach me Tamil. However, the lessons include me repeating what they say without any clue what it means. We laugh a lot. Then they ask me serious things in Tamil and look at me with expectant eyes. I suddenly have to make a thoughtful decision based on a frantic stream of grunts and hollers which meant absolutely nothing to my ears. Sometimes we play charades, but I’ve always been bad at that game.
They look to me more and more for direction. I point and explain what needs to be done around the house. But in the forest? I clearly have no idea, and even if I did, the Old Man would have no idea what I’m saying.
Thus, after working on watsu and economics, between fighting village dogs and chasing cows, while tending to Lumière’s puppy and employees, I’m now researching Tropical … Forests and practicing Tamil online.
So, my fellow Americans, my only answer to you is: I’m keeping busy.
The thing is, running a forest is a lot of work. Period.
Twenty acres is a lot of land. Period.
And there are animals to protect! Just this morning the villagers brought their dogs to collect cashews and—as they do almost every morning—the dogs chased the chickens. For the third time since June, one of the dogs succeeded in catching a poor bird, and I had to come with a stick to free the cock.
Plus, our Gop__ needs a lot of loving (which I’m more than happy to give) and company (which I spend simultaneous writing about watsu and/or complementary currencies). He’s just a puppy, after all…
And the cows come several times a day to eat the young trees and blooming flowers, and the house/kitchen/storeroom always offer improvement projects, and the workers—my God, the workers.
Everyday they try to teach me Tamil. However, the lessons include me repeating what they say without any clue what it means. We laugh a lot. Then they ask me serious things in Tamil and look at me with expectant eyes. I suddenly have to make a thoughtful decision based on a frantic stream of grunts and hollers which meant absolutely nothing to my ears. Sometimes we play charades, but I’ve always been bad at that game.
They look to me more and more for direction. I point and explain what needs to be done around the house. But in the forest? I clearly have no idea, and even if I did, the Old Man would have no idea what I’m saying.
Thus, after working on watsu and economics, between fighting village dogs and chasing cows, while tending to Lumière’s puppy and employees, I’m now researching Tropical … Forests and practicing Tamil online.
So, my fellow Americans, my only answer to you is: I’m keeping busy.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Chics Day Out
Interesting how much we’ve seen shapes how world view. Many will never leave their home country, many have never been on an airplane, many can’t even conceptualize elsewhere. I, for one, strongly advocate for travel and encourage others to see as much as they can. If I had the resources, I would give EVERYONE I know an opportunity to leave their sheltered life—even if only for a few moments.
Why should the baby chickens be exempt?
Thus far, the chicks’ entire world existed only of the blue birthing bin, the protective basket, and a few futile glimpses of the storage shed corner as we changed the sand or water in their home. It was time to push their limits.
(Plus, the Steward of the Land suggested a chick expedition via skype… so I was simply following orders.)
I first let them out in the morning. They just emerged from the storeroom door when the Old Man ran over hollering, pointing to the sky, and herding them back into the protective den. Apparently there’s a giant gray bird that eats baby chickens if they come out too early in the morning. Seriously.
So we tried again at the zenith of the day. Voila—Thelma, Louise, Beatrice, and Momacas (she’s a bit fatter than the others)—you are free! Go forth and prosper!
And while we (mostly Monica) took their guardianship quite seriously…
…this is primarily how and where they spent their day of freedom:
Getting them back into the basket was the hard part. It consisted of using the basket as a shield and a giant stick as a sword, so I pranced around like a gladiator until they were successfully herded back into their tiny dominion.
One of these days we’ll shift them to the abandoned hen house…
Why should the baby chickens be exempt?
Thus far, the chicks’ entire world existed only of the blue birthing bin, the protective basket, and a few futile glimpses of the storage shed corner as we changed the sand or water in their home. It was time to push their limits.
(Plus, the Steward of the Land suggested a chick expedition via skype… so I was simply following orders.)
I first let them out in the morning. They just emerged from the storeroom door when the Old Man ran over hollering, pointing to the sky, and herding them back into the protective den. Apparently there’s a giant gray bird that eats baby chickens if they come out too early in the morning. Seriously.
So we tried again at the zenith of the day. Voila—Thelma, Louise, Beatrice, and Momacas (she’s a bit fatter than the others)—you are free! Go forth and prosper!
And while we (mostly Monica) took their guardianship quite seriously…
…this is primarily how and where they spent their day of freedom:
Getting them back into the basket was the hard part. It consisted of using the basket as a shield and a giant stick as a sword, so I pranced around like a gladiator until they were successfully herded back into their tiny dominion.
One of these days we’ll shift them to the abandoned hen house…
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